How to be Assertive?

There are cases when you feel helpless, irritated and angry, but you sit quite and prefer not to react. The situation is no different in most corporates, when an office colleague snatches the credit for your work or idea in front of your boss. Your manager asks you to help him in a project, and you say ‘Okay’ even though your own work is pending. You work hard, but scolded because someone bitched to your boss about your work.

In fact, sometimes you disagree with an idea of your manager or colleague, but you don’t say a single word. Looking back, have you ever wondered why didn’t you express your anger, views and emotions? Have you ever wished to share how you felt about something? Did you find yourself very helpless when it came to take action and grab opportunities?

If you are nodding yes, then you surely need to learn to stand for yourself, speak your mind and be assertive. At some point of time,  we realize our skills and desires and feel confident to pursue them. And here fits the quotation of Sheldon Kopp, “In the long run we get no more than we have been willing to risk giving.” And believe me, if such is your attitude, you are doing nothing than letting your individuality kill for no apparent reason.

Being assertive, you learn to be straightforward about your desires, feelings and beliefs and express them in a respectful manner. According to a research, “an assertive employee with a “don’t take no for an answer” attitude earned $600, 000 more over a 40 year career”. Assertive skills help you deal with cunning or bossy colleagues, an arrogant manager or undisciplined team.

When you express yourself, you feel happy and content. It has a positive impact on your workplace achievement, self esteem and personal happiness. “Assertiveness is the one of the most crucial tools for success. To be able to clarify a thought, make it precise and relevant and share it at the right moment is an art”, said by Gabriela Cora, M.D., a psychiatrist, specializes in workplace issues.

I would like to share some simple tips that will help you become more assertive at workplace

Realize what really matters to you

Well, it is true that saying ‘no’ is the best policy to maintain relationships and take control at your workplace. Most of the people frequently say ‘no’ when they practice to be more assertive, just to show assertive attitude or sound tougher. But, when you realize your desires or know what exactly you want to achieve, you start pursuing them. All you need is to think and react smartly.

Don’t tolerate barriers to your goals, but battle

Don’t ever accept and take things easy, when it comes to your goals and desires. If anything affects your performance and work satisfaction, address it directly.

It avoids confusions and aggression. You need to know when to react and when to be assertive. It takes time to frame your boundaries, being conversational and react straight forward, but these practices make you perfect later if not sooner.

Ask for what you want

If you have already passed over the promotional period, now is the time to ask for it and get it. Discuss with the objective and sensible reasons. If your boss says it is important to concentrate on your work and stay positive, then you can ask for review in three – six months. Don’t hesitate to say no. You can express your intention clearly by using ‘I’ in a firm tone. Like, “I would like to discuss about my promotion” or “I am feeling exhausted with overburden of the assigned or unmanaged work”.

Frame personal boundaries

It is one of the most important parts of assertiveness, which helps you set your personal boundaries. Let your colleagues know what your expectations, dislikes and likes are, what behaviour would be unbearable and unwelcoming for you. Don’t tolerate anything that irritates you or gets into your way.

Believe in your worth and adopt active orientation to life

It is very simple to be assertive when you respect and stick to your beliefs. Don’t let others snatch your credit and take advantages of your silence or passive behavior. Express yourself and show professional confidence. Take your decision, believe on them and kick the fear off, what others think of you and how they react. ‘So what’ attitude helps you to pursue your desires and dreams.

If you enjoyed this blog, I would be glad knowing your opinions. You can find me with various other precise and effective self help material on Google & Youtube & on my blogs https://www.miteshkhatri.com/blog/.