This is probably the most important topic for all human beings because no matter who you are and where you are in life we all need to overcome fear of failure every now and then. Now notice i did not say overcome failure but “fear” of failure. Failure in itself has no impact on us, it never stops us, its our fears that stop us in life.
So let us first understand what is Fear of Failure?
Fear is just a State of Mind! Think about it, fear is just a state of mind in the moment, its how you feel, that’s it. A lot of people think of fear of failure as something big while all it is, is a small state of mind. Its not something out there, its something in here, right inside us. And this is a good news because if it is inside us then we can control it. Here are 6 time tested strategies to overcome this little state of mind of fear:
1. Change your State of Body to change your State of Mind
Our mind and body is one system that is totally connected, if you change one the other starts changing automatically. If you are feeling bad, it automatically impacts your state of body. Now we can use this to our advantage to change our state of mind by changing our state of body. Because if you are feeling bad and you start jumping it wont be too easy to continue feeling bad, will it! So in the moment when you are feeling fear of failure, change your state of body and make it stronger. Stand straight, shoulders upright, make the muscles tense, bring a smile on your face and shout, “I am in-charge of my feelings”
This simple strategy of changing your state of body will immediately help you to overcome the state of fear. Now all you have to do is keep a strong state of body long enough to condition it. Look if you are used to feeling the state of fear then you have definitely conditioned your body to be in that state. So changing your state of body once is not enough, train yourself to remain in a strong state of body so that you get conditioned in feeling strong as a habit.
2. Focus on what you have, not what you don’t have
When we are scared we are totally focusing on what we don’t have, in that moment we feel we have lost everything. Let’s understand the power of focus with a quick exercise right now…i want you to stop reading and just focus on everything that has a red color around you, just focus on red. Go! Now close your eyes and think of all the things in the room which are black. I bet you cant think of too many things in black because your mind is still focused on what, RED!
Just like that when we focus on what we don’t have, we cannot feel strong even if we want to because your mind is still focused on loss which makes you feel nothing but fear. But if you stop doing that and just start focusing on all the good things you do have in your life, you will see your state of mind shifting to feeling grateful rather than fear almost instantly. Let’s do it right away, think of all the things you have in your life which you can be grateful for, think all the relationships that you can be grateful for, think of all the amazing experiences of your past that you can be grateful for, think of all the resources you have that you can be grateful for, think of the health you have to be grateful for.
If you did this exercise right now, I wont be surprised if you are feeling a sense of strength because whenever you focus on what you have, you will feel stronger but if you focus on what you don’t have, you will feel fearful.
3. Focus on others instead of Focusing on yourself
Too many people are depressed in the world right now because they keep focusing on themselves. Its all about, my loss, my emotions, my problems, my life, its all me, me, me. Too much of me can make you fearful, depressed and lonely, WHY? Because when you are thinking too much about yourself you are totally disconnected with everything and everybody other than you, its like you are alone in your life. Now it would be scary to be alone in life, wont it?
So the next time you want to overcome fear of failure just stop focusing on your own needs and start focusing on others. It will help you become stronger the moment you start giving and serving to others. In the process the strength which you gain from focusing on others will serve you in achieving extraordinary success in your own life.
4. Call yourself a Gladiator
How you deal with fear of failure depends on how you see yourself. If you see yourself as a weak person, obviously your fears will expand and control your life. But if you see yourself like a Gladiator, someone who is strong enough to fail, get hurt but get up every single time. A Gladiator has that strength because that’s who he is, he is a Hero who never gives up, for a Gladiator what matters is fighting with his best even if he would lose. The nest time you are dealing with fear of failure call yourself a Gladiator, not a weak ordinary person.
If you see yourself as the strong Gladiator your fears will have zero impact on you.
5. Lastly train yourself to Smile at your Fears and walk through them
In my workshops i make people walk on fire because we are all naturally scared of fire. What i do during the workshop is train and inspire people to smile at fire and walk through it rather than being scared of it. Now when they actually walk on fire with a smile on their face, that experience gets permanently stamped in their memory. SO in future whenever they have to do something they fear of failing, all they now remember is what they did with fire, Smile and walk over it. Train yourself to do the same next time you feel fear of failure, just smile and walk over it.
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Thank you and Remember to…Smile At Your Fears
Mitesh Khatri